The Heart of Coaching

“The most powerful agent of growth and transformation is something much more basic than any technique: a change of heart.” – John Welwood

Have you wondered what leadership coaching really is? How is coaching different from your boss managing your performance, or a mentor giving career advice? Viewing the coaching process through the lens of the quote above provides some fresh insights about coaching and how it differs from management and mentoring.

How have you ever had a change of heart? Was it about a person, an idea, or how to approach a problem? Do you recall if it was a sudden epiphany, or more of a protracted pivot after some reflection? The key to a change of heart is that the change comes from within yourself. Perhaps you were influenced by a conversation with a trusted friend, or you came to a realization after going through a difficult period. Even with some external forces at play, the transformation took place within yourself and helped you to grow or adjust your mindset.

Coaches are in the business of nudging our clients toward these moments of growth. Sometimes we call it a breakthrough, or an insight. The role of coaches is to bring their clients to a place of trust – with the coach and within themselves – so that insights can be made clear. A skilled coach will take time to build that trust and practice ways to help you to quiet your mind, so that your inner self can reflect, explore, and build new neural pathways.  This allows you to be ready for that change of heart. What skills do coaches employ in order effectively drive client insights?

First, a coach will spend time sharing her coaching philosophy and background. She will clarify what coaching is (and isn’t) and what you can expect from sessions. She will ask questions to learn about your aspirations and learning style, and where you need to stretch. Then, she will listen for all that is said (and unsaid) as you are building trust together.

Next, an effective coach will create a safe space to help his clients set their own ambitious goals, with strategic milestones and concrete actions. He will ask questions to help clients reflect on progress, clarify their thinking, and open themselves to new possibilities. Coaches are their clients’ biggest fans, encouraging progress, exploring roadblocks, and promoting new ways of thinking, always with a positive approach. Coaches do not have a stake in the outcomes; however they have a substantial stake in their clients’ growth and development overall.

It is a coach’s role to create accountability for completing actions and making progress on strategies, with some wiggle room for discussing shifts in energy and motivation. If a client is slow to take action or getting stuck in a negative space, a talented coach will help by creating space to reflect and find answers and motivation within the client’s own deep reserves.

Finally, coaches keep (confidential) records of the thoughts, feelings, progress, insights and breakthroughs that happen during coaching engagements, and celebrate wins with the client. Keeping to the rigor and cadence of the coaching practice helps create new habits and approaches so that after engagements conclude, clients have learned skills that will help them succeed on their own.

True growth and transformation really do come from within. A leadership coach can direct clients to a place where a change of heart is possible.