Lift

“There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.” – Booker T. Washington

Do you ever have a conversation that stays with you and keeps you thinking? This week a coaching conversation with a client yielded some insights, both for me and my client! As we started to set the context for our session together, my client was describing a particular dilemma that she’s having, and she used the word “lift”. She was using the term in reference to a barrier to learning: “I need to lift this obstacle I’ve placed in mind and really do something to think about it differently.” As we were digging in to the obstacle itself, I mentioned to my client that the word had struck me as meaningful, so much so that I had written it down and rewound the conversation so we could uncover what “lift” could mean.

The insight in that conversation was in light of my client’s dilemma. We discussed how “lift” could be about removing an obstacle, and it can also be about lifting yourself higher. We discussed some imagery around how you lift your legs one at a time to ascend an entire flight of stairs, and how even that one step is a lift toward the greater accomplishment.

When the conversation was through, the word “lift” stayed with me. I thought about how many of us in the coaching and leadership development space are working on ways to respond to the Black Lives Matter movement and the energy it brings. How do we support diverse colleagues and friends? As managers, leaders and co-workers, how can we “lift” (even just one step at a time) to ascend the staircase of diversity, equity and inclusion? Lift has sat next to me all week, and today an acronym came to mind describing actions we can all take to lift obstacles for others and to lift others as we climb.

L = Love. Love that you are surrounded by people who are different from you. Love that we can get curious and start conversations about common ground and varied life experiences and learn from each other. A wise friend once quoted to me that “you can either come from a place of fear, or from a place of love”. To me, that’s the crux of it: Discussions about diversity, equity and inclusion should come from a place of love. Love the discomfort that may come from opening the conversation, then listen and learn (two more important L’s!).

I = Include. Include people in the conversation. In meetings, be sure to give the floor to a quieter or more junior attendee so that their ideas are heard. If you are the meeting planner, make sure there is a clear agenda and even let people know ahead of time that you really want to hear their voices in the call. Get out more! Make lunch dates or Zoom catch-ups with people who are outside your usual “in-group” and create a new in-group. When working on a project or making a decision, delay the process a bit so you can include diverse views from people who challenge you, or who are new to the orgainzation.

F = Fight. Fight for those new views! If you witness the classic move where someone co-opts another person’s idea, find ways to shed light on the original thought and give credit. All this can be done with finesse and not in a combative way. You may have to fight your own urges to make the “usual” decisions, pull together the “usual” project team, copy the “usual” people on the email. Particularly if you are in a leadership role or have an amount of influence on a situation, fighting for diversity, equity and inclusion even on a small scale can go a long way toward lifting others onto a more even playing field. One step at a time.

T = Tell. As a communications trainer, I am usually training managers to “ask” more than “tell”. In this case, use your influence and your “tell” instincts for good! Tell someone when you are impressed with her work. Tell someone about an upcoming opportunity or project where he may get exposure. Tell someone when an action she took had an impact on you or the team. Tell him that you learned something from his approach, because it was so different from yours; what a great conversation-starter to put a colleague in a safe space to get to know more about him. Lift people up with positive, encouraging feedback. Ask questions to learn how you can support colleagues in their career trajectories. While constructive feedback is always useful, giving encouragement to colleagues is even more powerful because it reinforces what they are doing right and encourages them to keep innovating. Tell stories to your boss, colleagues and others around the talent table if you are involved with talent reviews, workforce planning or succession plans. Plan those stories ahead of time to highlight those who may not be in the “usual” “in-groups” and could use a little lift from a champion.

We are all looking for actions we can take to support each other, encourage innovation and lift each other up in the new world of work. I’m going to exert my strength and start here, lifting one step at a time.