Leading the Unexpected

“Life is for most of us a continuous process of getting used to things we hadn’t expected.”

–Martha Lupton

How much time and energy do we all spend “getting used to things”? This quote really hit me as a simple way to describe the work of a leadership coach or a manager. Unexpected challenges in life present threats to us as human beings. When we are in a threat state – fight, flight or freeze – we are not making the best decisions or behaving the way we might behave when we feel at ease. This puts us in an “away” position: away from logic, away from addressing the source of the threat, away from the importance of maintaining relationships.

We want to help people recognize when they are in a threat state and move into a more constructive “toward” position: toward seeing the opportunities, toward working for solutions, toward positive relationships. How can a coach (or a manager) work with a client (or team member) to mitigate the threat states?

This is where my coaching training proves vital in how to assess threat states, and what we can try to bring folks to a “toward” position. The SCARF® model by NeuroLeadership Institute provides a simple way to recognize threats and think about mitigating. Our goal is to help our colleagues spend less time in threat state and more time productively “getting used to things”.

S = Status – Less than or better than others. When unexpected changes come, people need to know where they stand. Which is why leaders need to communicate more and not less during harrowing times, and when working remotely. Do your best to keep commitments, review goals and milestones, give encouraging feedback, and allow employees to ask questions and vent (within reason). Continue to assign challenging projects and communicate about the impact of their efforts.

C = Certainty – Ability to predict outcomes. Hold team meetings and one-on-ones in a predictable fashion. During times of uncertainty, people naturally hold on to the predicable elements and what they can control. Reiterate what has not changed, and coach team members to create new schedules and routines to keep them moving forward.

A = Autonomy – Sense of control. While communicating and maintaining certainty, it is also important for team members to know that they have autonomy over how and when important tasks are completed. During uncertain times and remote work situations, this is the time to allow team members to work when they are most productive and to try new strategies. This can be very motivating and may just create some innovation.

R = Relatedness – In-group and out-group. It is important for a leader to build awareness of in-group and out-group formation, and how it feels to be in the out-group. While a leader may need to rely on a specific, smaller teams to rally and perform in a crisis, the rest of the team should be consistently informed and called upon for their expertise. Take time to send messages or quick emails to individuals and continue to build common ground and encourage everyone to do the same. This may seem like a small thing, but common ground with team members brings people toward that feeling of being in the in-group.

F = Fairness – Perception of fair exchange. Fair and equal are not the same thing, and most adults understand that. Employees who understand what others are working on, and who feel understood around their challenges and accomplishments, feel a sense of fair treatment. Create ground rules for meetings and interactions, set expectations for work product and how team members treat one another, and then encourage transparency on the team so that everyone has a window in to what co-workers are producing.

Some people never develop the skill to quickly “get used to things” and find themselves mired in threat state, negativity and unproductive behaviors. Leaders can help by recognizing threats, skillfully leading team members through them, and creating an environment of working toward goals despite the unexpected.