Leaders Boost Self-Esteem

“Outstanding leaders go out of the way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it’s amazing what they can accomplish.” – Sam Walton

How does self-esteem affect job performance, and how can we as leaders contribute to an employee’s sense of self? The term “self-esteem” implies that it comes from within. Is this a trait for which we should hire and interview?  “Tell me about your self-esteem…” does not seem like a fair interview question. However, something more targeted, like: “Tell me what kind of manager feedback is inspiring for your performance?” may be a good place to start. In fact, why not ask that question of a current team member during a one-on-one meeting or coaching discussion to get an interesting dialog going?

Let’s begin with how a manager can contribute to self-esteem when building rapport with a new employee. While employees come to the job with various levels of psychological well-being, this is not a leader’s role to determine. It is, however, incumbent on a manager to discover each employee’s unique capabilities and motivators. While a new employee may exude confidence during the interviewing process, one way to assure that someone can hit the ground running (or at least moving in the right direction) is to spend time to clarify roles and responsibilities, build trust with the employee, and set him up for success.

Onboarding and employee orientation are not the same. While your company may have a solid orientation program, the onboarding experience goes way beyond Day 1 of employment. It is a manager’s role to invest time and energy to help the employee feel secure in her decision to join your team and be a carrier of the mission. When a new employee joins the team, spend some time getting to know her now that her guard is down from the interview process. Ask engaging questions about how she gets things done, when she is most productive, and what she is looking forward to about the new role. It is also important to reiterate the job responsibilities, expectations and goals now that the employee has joined the organization and is a new frame of mind post-interview process. Slow down a bit rather than move fast, and invest this time to show that you truly care about how she learns and answer her questions about how the team operates.

One of my better onboarding experiences involved my manager actually scheduling appointments on my calendar for the first two weeks on the job. I had places to go, people to meet, courses to take to help me acclimate to the team and to the expectations of my role. It was so much more productive than sitting at a desk with a binder or clicking through on-line courses and feeling like I had to bother people on the team with questions. That time was already set up and I had a purpose for each day until I became accustomed to the new workplace.

This is a crucial time in the development of a new relationship. Employees are much more apt to hear and act upon the performance feedback you have to share when they trust that you have their best interests for development at heart. Feedback should come from a place of your concern that they are developing new skills and contributing to the company mission, in addition to your concern that the job is done “correctly”. After all, for many industries, we are hiring people to innovate. That’s hard to do if your manager constantly gives you performance feedback on how the job has always been done. This is where questioning skills are crucial to uncover how employees are thinking, help them clarify those ideas, and determine where they need your direction and when you should stay back and allow them to create a new path.

Engaging questions do not have to be saved for new employee relationships. If you are “stuck” with an employee relationship and cannot figure out how to motivate him, it may be time for a new approach. Tell him you are trying some new coaching techniques. One way to positively contribute to another person’s self-esteem is to demonstrate that you want to hear her views and understand her ideas for improvement.

Here are some engaging questions that build trust and uncover innovative thinking:

• What results would you like to achieve on this project?
• What’s the ideal outcome, if you had no barriers?
• How would you describe the impact of this situation on you, on others?
• If you could fast-forward and look at this issue a month or a year into the future, what do you see?
• How clear is your thinking on this?
• How can I help you to think this through?
• What are you noticing?
• What insights are you having?
• What connections are you making as you reflect on this?
• What have you learned from this project so far?
• What do you find yourself doing differently, or What would you do differently next time?
• How can I help you move forward?

Ultimately, leaders are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. However, leaders can contribute positively to employees’ view of their work performance by clarifying roles and objectives, positively communicating, and building confidence, by helping them to clarifying their thinking. Conversely, leaders can do damage by remaining vague, not spending time building trust, and giving feedback without that established trust.